Relationship Red Flags

These are a list of common problem warnings in relationships. If you and your spouse have several of these, it may be helpful to you to seek a professional to encourage growth in your relationship, such as a couples counselor.  

• Past behavior in relationships (patterns)  

• Character  

• Family of origin (degree of dysfunction)  

• Friends (how do they conduct themselves)  

• Neediness (degree)  

• Development of self outside of the relationship  

• Nature of conflicts  

• Our relationship (needs) skewed  

• Sexual patterns (questionable, past/compatibility)  

• Values (comparable?)  

• Possessiveness (jealousy)  

• Behavior toward the opposite sex (appropriate?)  

• Number of things that you are uncomfortable about  

• Capacity for trust  

• Spirituality - if applicable  

• Demands (or lack of)  

• Involvement in dysfunctional relationships  

• Alcohol/drug usage  

• Relationship (children)  

• Level of self-esteem  

• Ability to take responsibility (in conflict)  

• Concrete vs. abstract thinking (ability, other views)  

• Emotional intelligence  

• Tolerance of others (opinion, behavior)  

• Degree of flexibility  

• Impact on your stress level  

• Amount of energy required (to deal with this person)